We Will Pee On the Chaussure, Madam

The Pretend French Girls visiting Notre Dame

Not everyone is up on dog breeds. I do not mind at all when people ask what kind of dogs Lulu and Phoebe might be. Bostons are not all that common and outside of the United States, less so. It is fun to listen to people pronounce it - in France they would be Boostn Terreea, the last letter a long A. At least in France people had perhaps never seen a Boston and were very curious. Most of them. More on that later.

But as time goes by, back home, I am somewhat convinced that the dumbing down of Americans is getting worse than ever. Seriously. Let me begin with what Lulu and Phoebe are not:

• Pitbulls
• Nor twins (dogs are littermates, humans are twins)
• Bulldog Francais (although at least they also have smushy faces)
• Dalmations
• Pugs (seriously?)
• Minature Boxers (again, seriously?)
• Brother and sister (take a good looky there!)
• Mother and son (again.....)
• Chihauhaus (too many Taco Bell commercials)
• English Bulldogs

Sure, lots of people don't know much about dogs because it isn't high on their list of interests. I don't mind curious questions much. I just mind when they insist that we must be wrong and they are totally correct.

Phoebe is bigger than Lulu by about 5 pounds so people insist she must be the older one, and/or in fact, Lulu's mother. I would not have to worry about money if I got a nickel for every dropped jaw when I tell them that (little) Lulu is older than Phoebe by two years and both are spayed and will never be "mommies".

My other favorite is the Pitbull. Really? A 10 pound pitbull? Watch those ankles people!

In France there were several older citizens who had stories about Boston Terriers, or in their case, C'est Bulldog Francais that they might have had when they were children. Next up would be to exclaim how ugly they are and how much prettier poodles are. After the third comment like that I worked with Lulu who would already pee on command, to pee on their shoes. She did a masterful job of coming close to her mark. That sent them scurrying on their way. Nice? No. Necessary? Oui.

There are lots of dog breeds out there that I don't know anything about, and often identify them incorrectly. I have lots of sympathy for people who try and guess wrong. I don't, however, have much sympathy for people who insist that I am wrong and they are right - about my very own Lulu and Phoebe.

So to the lady today, who insisted they were Pitbulls and looked concerned for her very safety, I have this to say. Run. Run like the wind. Lulu just had a very big latte and she is looking at your shoes!